Part Two: Teaching Emotional Regulation Skills in Everyday Moments

Welcome to part two of our series on parenting and emotional regulation for kids! If you missed part one, you’re missing some essential information on the science of emotional regulation for kids. For example: 

• Children’s brains are still developing, which means emotional regulation is a skill that takes time, guidance, and practice to build.

• Kids learn how to manage emotions through co-regulation with supportive adults, not through punishment or immediate independence.

• Big emotional reactions are often signs of nervous system overwhelm, meaning children need safety, connection, and support to calm down before they can learn or problem-solve.

Once we understand why emotional regulation can be difficult for children, the next step is helping them build the skills they need. Emotional regulation is something kids learn through practice, guidance, and supportive relationships with caregivers.

Many parents feel pressure to “fix” emotional outbursts quickly, but emotional skills develop slowly over time. Children benefit most when they have repeated opportunities to practice calming their bodies, naming their feelings, and finding healthy ways to cope.

The good news is that emotional regulation skills can be taught in everyday moments. With patience, modeling, and consistency, parents can help children develop tools that support their emotional well-being both now and in the future.

So, how can we work on helping our kiddos develop those emotional regulation skills? Read on for more info from the holistic healers at Rise and Thrive Counseling!

Start With Co-Regulation

Before children can calm themselves, they often need help calming their bodies with the support of a trusted adult. Co-regulation helps children learn that difficult emotions can be managed safely.

When caregivers remain calm during stressful moments, it signals safety to a child’s nervous system and helps bring emotions back to a manageable level.

Ways to practice co-regulation include:

• Take a few slow breaths yourself before responding

• Use a calm tone and gentle body language

• Sit near your child or offer comforting presence

• Validate what your child is feeling before addressing behavior

• Focus on connection first, then problem-solving later
  

Teach Emotional Awareness

Children regulate emotions more effectively when they can identify and name what they’re feeling. Emotional awareness helps kids understand their internal experiences and communicate their needs more clearly.

Learning emotional language takes time, and parents play an important role in modeling and teaching these skills.

Helpful ways to build emotional awareness include:

• Name emotions when you notice them in your child

• Use stories or books as opportunities to discuss feelings

• Share your own emotions in simple, healthy ways

• Normalize that all emotions are valid, even difficult ones

• Encourage children to notice how emotions feel in their bodies
  

Practice Regulation Skills When Kids Are Calm

Emotional coping skills work best when they are practiced during calm moments rather than in the middle of distress. Practicing ahead of time helps children remember these tools when emotions rise. Small, everyday practices can help children build a toolkit for managing their feelings.

Ways to practice emotional regulation skills include:

• Practice simple breathing exercises together

• Introduce grounding activities like noticing sights and sounds

• Create a calm-down space or “coping toolbox” at home

• Maintain consistent routines that support emotional stability

• Celebrate when children try using their coping strategies
  

Resources for Parents

Supporting children’s emotional growth is a learning process for parents as well. These books offer helpful tools for teaching emotional regulation and building strong parent-child relationships:

• The Whole-Brain Child by Daniel J. Siegel and Tina Payne Bryson

• Raising Good Humans by Hunter Clarke-Fields

• How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish

Another resource to look out for - part three of our series, which will be posted on 5/15! Stay tuned!

Speaking of resources: if you want more holistic help, look no further than Rise and Thrive Counseling. Our holistic counselors can help address all areas of life. Reach out today to learn more. We look forward to hearing from you!